Archive for the ‘Life with Baby, Cristina’ Category

Cristina’s Life with Baby: Part of your life instead of all if your life

Friday, October 16th, 2009

 

The most interesting thing about being pregnant the second time around is how the pregnancy takes a back seat to the rest of your life.  When I was pregnant with my first child, Alyssa, I think I spent pretty much every waking hour thinking about or preparing for her arrival.  While driving to work, I would play classical music, because they (the infamous they) say that playing classical music in utero will help get your child into Harvard, or some such nonsense. I would talk to Alyssa all the time because I wanted her to be familiar with the sound of my voice, even though she would probably recognize my voice because I talk all day long.  I registered the minute I found out we were having a girl, and I enlisted my sister (a mother of three) to help with the process.  I made sure I only ate pasteurized cheese, turned my nose up at anything with caffeine and I exercised more than I had prior to my pregnancy.  I did my Kegel exercises religiously, because after watching the c-section video, I wanted to do everything I could for a vaginal delivery.  We read books on what to expect, how to soothe a cranky baby and the 411 on babies.  My husband and I toured the hospital, pre-registered and took the birthing classes and baby safety classes by the beginning of the third trimester.  To say I was consumed by babies and becoming a mother was an understatement.  It was a great time of my life and I was so happy that we were going to become a family of three.  Preparing for Alyssa helped me to feel bonded to her and I felt like I already knew her, or at least a part of her, before she was born.

 

I am due with my second child on January 8, 2010.  I think I actually said to my husband the other day, I just need to get through the holidays first and then I can think about preparing for the baby.  If you do the math that means I have one week to prepare for baby girl number two’s arrival.  For the record, my husband just laughed and shook his head at me.  At the beginning of this pregnancy, I would actually forget I was pregnant.  My morning sickness would occur at night, so I was able to function normally during the day.  I would go to Starbucks and order that latte without even thinking of getting a decaf.  It wasn’t until about 2/3rds of the way through the latte that I realized - hey, I’m pregnant.  Luckily, I’m not a caffeine addict, so it wasn’t a daily occurance and my doctor said limited caffeine intake shouldn’t affect the baby.  I took that advice as license to continue getting those lattes and iced coffees.  Forget about playing classical music in the car, because I’m listening to Disney tunes with Alyssa.  Working out is a luxury.  I try to exercise every other day, but I pretty much fail at that every week because I don’t or won’t work out in the mornings and I get home at 7:30 p.m. from work.  I haven’t even thought about doing a Kegel exercise until I started writing this post.  I think the only thing I do for this pregnancy on a regular basis is forward the weekly baby development emails to my husband.

 

I would also forget to tell people I was pregnant.  I am 28 weeks into this pregnancy, and I finally just finished telling all of my friends.  If you saw me, there’s no way to deny I’m pregnant, but for those who I don’t see on a regular basis or the facebook friends, I just haven’t made a big announcement.  However, the last person I told, who is a child psychologist and very wise, said to me, “This pregnancy is part of your life instead of all of your life.”  Prior to this conversation, I felt guilty, because I wasn’t bonding with the baby the way I did with Alyssa.  They were the magic words I needed to hear.  I am so excited to have another baby, but I realized that having a two year-old, trying to spend quality time with the hubby and working full time does not leave a lot of time for daydreaming about the delivery or the perfect nursery.  Additionally, because we’re having another girl, I feel much more prepared this time.  For some reason, I continue to believe all we need are some diapers and wipes, and we’ll be good to go.  My thoughts are directed elsewhere - I have a child who needs me to focus on her, and I am consumed with planning Alyssa’s third birthday party.  So, I’ve decided that after Alyssa’s party, I will focus on baby number two.  That is until I start thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Cristina’s Life with Baby: Date Night

Thursday, July 30th, 2009
Spending time alone with my husband, Chris, is something we don’t manage very well, especially since I’m pregnant with baby number two.  We used to unwind and watch TV or a movie after putting Alyssa to bed, but these days I go to bed when Alyssa goes to bed because I am so tired.  The weekends are our opportunity to spend time with Alyssa since we’re gone so much during the week, so we try to spend as much time with her as humanly possible.  Therefore, we don’t go out on dates, and I’m in bed by 8:30.  However, the other day my husband suggested we go to the Incubus concert at the Hollywood Bowl.  An actual date to a concert?  On a school night?  Alone and without offspring?  I was in!  My husband even managed to arrange childcare without my input - talk about your romantic gestures!  We didn’t have tickets, but we weren’t worried because it wasn’t sold out and Chris is the master of utilizing ebay, Craig’s List and Stub Hub to find tickets. 
 
We spent all day emailing back and forth at work like two high schoolers, or at least a newlywed couple, daydreaming about what we were going to have for dinner and planning for our evening.  I was excited to say the least.  Around 3:00 p.m. the day of the concert, Chris and I started talking logistics about how the two of us would meet up, because parking at the Bowl is a nightmare under the best of circumstances.  I work near the Bowl and he works near our home in Pasadea, so we decided that I’d park there and he would take the shuttle and we’d drive home together.  Everything was falling into place.  Around 5:00 p.m., Chris called and said he had an idea.  He said, “Why don’t we skip the concert and go to dinner and a movie.”  My response, “Fantastic, see you at home.”  I can’t tell you the relief I felt when he made that suggestion.  I realized that going to the concert was not as important as just spending time with my husband, and getting home at a decent hour was more enticing than the concert.  Don’t get me wrong, the concert would have been great, but going to dinner and a movie and still make it home by 10:00 p.m. was my version of the perfect evening.
 
We went and saw Publice Enemies, but had to settle on California Crisp (think of Subway-like restaurant with salads) in order to make the 7:15 movie.  I didn’t care.  I was on a date with my husband and enjoying his company.  It was so nice to sit next to him in a movie theatre, watch a movie that didn’t involve a talking animal and hold his hand.  We made it home by 10:00 and I was in bed and asleep by 10:05, the perfect ending to a great night.

life with baby, Cristina

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
I am the luckiest working mom I know.  I have the luxury of never having to worry about my daughter when I am at work, and I don’t.  My mother and father-in-law, as well as my aunt and my husband’s aunt share the work week to help take care of Alyssa.  It definitely takes a village, and in my case I have a fantastic village.  I have it so good that I’m dreading the day Alyssa will go to pre-school because I’m positive my work productivity will decrease due to worry.  Who is going to make sure she eats her vegtables or let alone eats at pre-school and day care?  Who is going to read “Robert the Rose Horse” to her when she doesn’t want to read that other book?  How is she going to take her three hour nap with all of those other kids at day care?  The answer to these questions is I’m sure there will be lovely people who will take care of Alyssa at pre-school, but nobody will even come close to the fantastic care provided by Nana, GG, Aunt Chris and Aunt Carol.  My husband and I have been spoiled (along with Alyssa) by having such wonderful people who love and adore my daughter that I am going to go through a serious adjustment period in September. 
 
I have always been a huge advocate of pre-school.  After all, I can still remember my days at Gerber’s Children Center where I learned to read while everyone else napped, and singing “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” in the school Christmas play.  But, as I get ready to send Alyssa on her way, I find myself wondering if this is the best option or if we should put it off for another year (which we could do because she is a November baby, and I can always use that as an excuse).  I’ve already had the anxiety dreams about the school loosing my daughter.  Sure, in my dream they lost Alyssa down the sink drain, but that seemed like a very possible scenario at 3:00 a.m. 
 
I’m also going to miss my daily phone call with Alyssa.  It’s a recent development and I so look forward to her call.  It’s usually a one-sided conversation, but she can really talk when she get’s going.  I love hearing how Nana had to put her in time out because she started throwing oranges at her.  Why did she have oranges - not sure, but her version of the story is certainly entertaining and makes me laugh.
 
My rational side tells me that Alyssa is going to love pre-school, and socializing with other kids is the best thing for her.  She loves meeting new people, reading aloud, coloring and riding tricycles.  She is going to be the kid who has no adjustment problems and won’t even turn around to say good-bye to me after we walk through the pre-school door.  But, my irrational, over-protective mommy side tells me to keep her out just another year.  I’m worried I won’t get a detailed accounting of her activitites and all the new things she discovered during the day.  I’m sure her teachers will do all they can to aprise me of the day’s events, but how will they be able to provide the level of attention she received over the last two and a half years of her life?  They won’t, but that is probably a good thing for Alyssa, and I need to realize that she is going to be fine.  The question is: Will I be ok?
 
I’m sure I will resolve all of my irrational fears by the time school starts in the fall (one can only hope), because I know Alyssa is going to a great school where she will make new friends, be exposed to new things and she will be prepared for school.  I think I just need to use that as my mantra to help me get through my work week.  I guess this is the first step in letting go.  I can only imagine what I’m going to be like when I drop her off at college.