I am the luckiest working mom I know.  I have the luxury of never having to worry about my daughter when I am at work, and I don’t.  My mother and father-in-law, as well as my aunt and my husband’s aunt share the work week to help take care of Alyssa.  It definitely takes a village, and in my case I have a fantastic village.  I have it so good that I’m dreading the day Alyssa will go to pre-school because I’m positive my work productivity will decrease due to worry.  Who is going to make sure she eats her vegtables or let alone eats at pre-school and day care?  Who is going to read “Robert the Rose Horse” to her when she doesn’t want to read that other book?  How is she going to take her three hour nap with all of those other kids at day care?  The answer to these questions is I’m sure there will be lovely people who will take care of Alyssa at pre-school, but nobody will even come close to the fantastic care provided by Nana, GG, Aunt Chris and Aunt Carol.  My husband and I have been spoiled (along with Alyssa) by having such wonderful people who love and adore my daughter that I am going to go through a serious adjustment period in September. 

 

I have always been a huge advocate of pre-school.  After all, I can still remember my days at Gerber’s Children Center where I learned to read while everyone else napped, and singing “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” in the school Christmas play.  But, as I get ready to send Alyssa on her way, I find myself wondering if this is the best option or if we should put it off for another year (which we could do because she is a November baby, and I can always use that as an excuse).  I’ve already had the anxiety dreams about the school loosing my daughter.  Sure, in my dream they lost Alyssa down the sink drain, but that seemed like a very possible scenario at 3:00 a.m. 

 

 

My rational side tells me that Alyssa is going to love pre-school, and socializing with other kids is the best thing for her.  She loves meeting new people, reading aloud, coloring and riding tricycles.  She is going to be the kid who has no adjustment problems and won’t even turn around to say good-bye to me after we walk through the pre-school door.  But, my irrational, over-protective mommy side tells me to keep her out just another year.  I’m worried I won’t get a detailed accounting of her activitites and all the new things she discovered during the day.  I’m sure her teachers will do all they can to aprise me of the day’s events, but how will they be able to provide the level of attention she received over the last two and a half years of her life?  They won’t, but that is probably a good thing for Alyssa, and I need to realize that she is going to be fine.  The question is: Will I be ok?

 

I’m sure I will resolve all of my irrational fears by the time school starts in the fall (one can only hope), because I know Alyssa is going to a great school where she will make new friends, be exposed to new things and she will be prepared for school.  I think I just need to use that as my mantra to help me get through my work week.  I guess this is the first step in letting go.  I can only imagine what I’m going to be like when I drop her off at college.